Btselem /18 March 2024

Up until the war, I lived with my husband Yihya al-Hilu and our three children, Maria, 13, Malak, 12, and Muhammad, 7, in a-Sheikh Radwan neighborhood in Gaza City. Now we’re in Rafah, in a school that has been turned into an IDP camp.

On 11 November 2023, the military called us and demanded we leave the neighborhood. The children and I left the house that day. We walked through the Netzarim checkpoint to al-Bureij R.C., in the central Gaza Strip. My husband stayed in Gaza City with his elderly parents because he didn’t want to leave them alone.

My hands were tied behind my back and I was blindfolded with a piece of cloth. A soldier hit me on the back. They left us in the truck for five hours, handcuffed

On 25 December, the army dropped flyers in al-Bureij with orders to evacuate from there, too. We were in a school there with many other families, and we thought it was a safe place, so we stayed there. On 28 December, at 2:00 A.M., soldiers entered the school shooting. Some of the school’s walls were demolished. The soldiers called the men to come out. They arrested some and put others into a big pit they dug.

The soldiers arrested me and nine other women. My children stayed with another woman. A soldier led me, pointing his gun at my back, into a large military tent. The other detained women were also put in this tent. I thought we would be taken back to our children in a few minutes.

Inside the tent, I was ordered to strip and I was searched, nearly naked.

Then the soldiers took me to a truck that was full of detained women, as well as some detained guys. I saw my daughter Malak standing on a hill near the truck. She waved to me.

One of the soldiers said: “Welcome, you’re in Israel.” I started crying

My hands were tied behind my back and I was blindfolded with a piece of cloth. A soldier hit me on the back. They left us in the truck for five hours, handcuffed. Towards evening, the truck drove towards Gaza’s eastern border, and we were let out there. One of the soldiers said: “Welcome, you’re in Israel.” I started crying. I said to the soldiers: “My children stayed by themselves, where did they go? And I’m here without my husband!” One of the soldiers told me, “Your children are okay.”

Then he took me to another truck that had men and women in it. The men were naked. They were wearing something see-through and were naked underneath. It was very cold. The soldiers brought blankets only for the women.

I asked for a drink of water, but they refused and the female soldier hit me on the head and said: “Whore. You’re Hamas.” They beat us and spat on us the whole way, too

Two hours later, we were put on a bus, blindfolded and handcuffed. The bus started driving and the whole way, we weren’t allowed to move or talk. I have diabetes and high blood pressure. I asked for a drink of water, but they refused and the female soldier hit me on the head and said: “Whore. You’re Hamas.” They beat us and spat on us the whole way, too.

Two hours later, we were transferred to another bus and searched. We arrived at the Anatot camp near Jerusalem, where they took us out and put us in an iron cage. Female soldiers strip-searched me while I was blindfolded. They told me to strip down to my underwear.

Then my gold earrings and the money I had on me, 3,400 NIS (~ USD 925) and 100 USD, were taken from me. They took me to a place where the ground was asphalt and gravel. I heard someone there say, “Mama.” She sounded like a child. For a moment, I thought it was my daughter Malak. I didn’t sleep there. Every time I fell asleep, a soldier came, hit me on the head and said, “No sleeping.” Then they tied our hands and feet in chains. We were given gray pajamas to wear.

From there, I was taken to an iron cage where I stayed with other female detainees for 11 days. My hands were in zip ties the whole time. We were given very little food. I barely even ate that so I wouldn’t have to go to the bathroom, which was far away and didn’t have a tap, and it was impossible to get cleaned properly. If you were menstruating, you got one pad. In the bathroom, we helped each other. There was no shower, either.

There were male and female soldiers around us all the time, and they wouldn’t let us sleep. They would turn on the light, turn on speakers, eat in front of us and swear at us.

After 11 days, we were taken to Damun Prison in the Haifa area. They kept me there for 31 days. Female soldiers strip-searched me there, too, and I was interrogated five times, handcuffed and blindfolded. I was asked about my husband, my siblings, the neighbors, mosques, greengrocers. I was also asked about social media accounts I follow. I kept saying to them: “Show some humanity. You forced me to leave my children. I don’t know where they are. I don’t belong to any organization.” We got very little food. An egg in the morning, and other than that, noodles or rice.

There were about ten women there, including me. We were all standing there in our underwear. There were only female soldiers inside, but outside the hall, near the open door, there were male soldiers and I was afraid they could see us naked

Then I was transferred to the Zikim camp, close to the Gaza Strip. I was strip-searched again. I found myself in a large hall. There were about ten women there, including me. We were all standing there in our underwear. There were only female soldiers inside, but outside the hall, near the open door, there were male soldiers and I was afraid they could see us naked.

We were kept there overnight. After we got dressed, our pictures were taken. We were asked: “What’s your name?” and “How are you?” and instructed: “Say: okay.” Then they tied my hands behind my back again with zip ties and put me on a bus with more female detainees. They said they were releasing us, so I asked about the personal effects that were taken from me. But they didn’t give me anything back. That was on 8 February 2024. The whole way to Kerem Shalom Crossing (Abu Salem) in the southern Gaza Strip, we were forbidden to talk and beaten. We got to Kerem Shalom and crossed there. We went to an IDP camp in a school in Rafah, and I’ve been here ever since.

My kids are here, too. It turned out that after I was arrested, a journalist helped the children contact the Red Cross and they were able to contact the family and reach them. When I came back to Gaza, I got in touch with the family and now the children are here with me.

Most of my family is still in the northern Gaza Strip. My brother, Muhammad Sa’ed, 43, was killed in the incident at a-Nabulsi square in Gaza City on 29 February 2024, where people trying to reach trucks carrying supplies to the northern Gaza Strip were killed by soldiers’ fire, run over by trucks or trampled by the crowd. I talk to my husband and parents as much as possible, because the phones don’t always work. They’re in terrible condition, very hungry. My mother doesn’t eat for days on end. I found out our home was bombed and destroyed.

I pray for the war to end, for our suffering to stop and for me to be able to see my husband and my parents. I’m yearning to go back to northern Gaza, even though we don’t have a home anymore. All I want is for me and what’s left of my family to get through this war alive.

* Testimony given to B’Tselem field researcher Olfat al-Kurd on 18 March 2024