BTELESLM -18 March 2024

When the war broke out, we stayed in our home in a-Zeitun neighborhood in Gaza City: my husband Rushdi, 30, our two children, Muhammad, 4, and Zein, 1, and me. My husband’s parents and siblings lived in the same building. We heard shooting and heavy bombings around us all the time but we stayed put, until our house was damaged. We moved to my husband’s uncle’s house for 20 days, and when the hudna (ceasefire) was declared, we went back home.

Hadil a-Dahduh Zaza with her husband Rushdi Zaza and their children Muhammed and Zein after her release. Photo by Olfat Al-Kurd, B'Tselem, 18 March 2024

One of my brothers-in-law was killed by the fire and another was injured trying to help him. The soldiers blew up the wall of the house and came into the basement. It was terrifying

The bombings started up again, but we stayed at home. When it was very frightening, we went to the neighbors’ basement. On 6 December 2023, while we were sheltering in the neighbors’ basement, our house came under fire. There were about 20 of us there. One of my brothers-in-law was killed by the fire and another was injured trying to help him. The soldiers blew up the wall of the house and came into the basement. It was terrifying. I was very scared and started crying.

The soldiers took us out of the basement. They took the men, handcuffed them and blindfolded them. Then they also took us women out, and the children, and took us to one of the apartments. They took the ID card and phone from every woman, and attached every ID card to the phone of that woman.

An officer called me over and told me he wanted to give me a blood test. I got scared and stressed. I started crying and so did baby Zein. The officer took me outside and Zein stayed with his grandmother. Outside, I saw my husband along with his father, Ziad, his brother Ayman, and two neighbors.

A female soldier holding a small bag grabbed me by the hand and led me to another house. I was terrified and cried the whole time. My husband and father-in-law were also brought there. Inside the house, that soldier and another soldier handcuffed me with zip ties and blindfolded me with a piece of cloth. They gave me an anesthetic shot, and then the soldier asked me if it was working. I told him the anesthesia didn’t affect me when I had a C-section either, and I stayed conscious.

The soldiers gave my husband an anesthetic injection too. They gave us a blood test. They put something in our mouths, too. I don’t know what it was. After I was released, my mother-in-law told me they also took the children away for a few minutes, and Muhammad told her after they were brought back that they had tests done.

We stayed in that house until the next day, and then they took my husband and me to a place that was full of men. His father was taken somewhere else. I saw that when I peeked under the blindfold. I think I was the only woman there. I was very tired and didn’t feel well. My chest hurt because I hadn’t nursed Zein for two days straight. The soldiers hit me on the back and chest too.

The soldiers ordered me to take off my hijab. One of them told me: “I killed your husband and I want to bury you alive. Let the dogs eat you

Then I was put in a pit in the ground. When I was in it, with all the other detainees, the soldiers ordered me to take off my hijab. One of them told me: “I killed your husband and I want to bury you alive. Let the dogs eat you.”

About half an hour later, they took us out of the pit and put us on a truck. There were men inside who were right up against me. At that point, I thought my husband had been killed. After I was released, I saw a photo they took of us in the truck. I’m in that photo. The truck drove to a detention facility outside the Gaza Strip. I was put into a cell with women who were already there. The men were kept separately. I was exhausted after three days of constant suffering and beatings.

Two days later, they brought more women from the Gaza Strip and there were 19 of us in the cell. It was very cold and wet there, and all we had was one blanket.

After that, they put us on a bus. They grabbed us and dragged us to the bus like animals, handcuffed and blindfolded, hitting beating us on the head on the way. The soldiers told us again and again: “You’re Hamas.”

female soldiers told me to strip to my underwear and searched me like that. [...] The whole time, they hit me and swore at me

The bus took us to a detention facility called Anatot, where female soldiers told me to strip to my underwear and searched me like that. Then they gave me a gray sweatsuit to put on. The whole time, they hit me and swore at me. I was in that facility for nine days of exhaustion, freezing cold and hunger. I was handcuffed the whole time.

Then we were transferred to Beersheba Prison, where we stayed five more days. Every time, they took us out to the yard and beat us. It was exhausting and difficult.

Then we were transferred to Damun Prison near Haifa, and I went through a strip search again. I was interrogated five times, and every time I was asked the same questions: “Are you Hamas? Where were you on October 7?” They asked me about a-Sinwar too, and the tunnels, and every time they told me they’d killed my husband and children. We were held there in Ward 9 together with female prisoners from the West Bank who helped us. We had a shower and they gave us their clothes – me and all the detainees from Gaza.

I was held in Damun for about 40 days.

After 54 days in detention, on 26 January 2024, we were taken to Kerem Shalom Crossing and released. We weren’t given our personal effects back: when I was detained, I had gold jewelry on me worth 4,900 shekels (~ USD 1,330), 370 dinars, and my ID card and phone. I have a receipt for these items. We walked a few kilometers, until we got to the Karam Abu Salem crossing.

We went to the UN offices at the crossing. We were all exhausted. I asked the UN people to call my husband and he came an hour later.

When I saw my husband, I didn’t recognize him. He looked completely different after being detained for 33 days and tortured. He was released before me.

Now I’m here, in a tent in Rafah, with my husband and our children. My sister- and brother-in-law brought them to us a few days ago. They were with them in a-Zeitun neighborhood that whole time. The kids looked exhausted, too. I just hugged them and cried.

I’m so tired. Our financial situation is very tough. We have no food or clothes here. The kids are hungry and it’s very cold. I go to another camp to get food, but I can’t get milk for Zein, who was still nursing when they arrested me. Muhammad doesn’t even recognize me and won’t come near me. He just wants his dad. Now he has anemia because of the poor nutrition. The hunger is killing us. It’s Ramadan now, too, and that it makes the terrible want we’re living in even more obvious.

* Testimony given to B’Tselem field researcher Olfat al-Kurd on 18 March 2024